Dark­ness falls harshly around me, the edge of my world only
a few inches away. I can again see the glow­ing eyes of my
fears com­ing closer.

The mon­sters gather around the edge of the remain­ing light,
prob­ing and pok­ing like half remem­bered dreams the that haunt
us in the early morning.

I reach toward a vision of love I had, only to have a demon
rip it from my grasp, leav­ing my soul empty and longing.

I don't dare remem­ber for fear of los­ing what mem­o­ries I have left.

As I look around, I name the beasts that stand just beyond
my reach, tant­ing me, dar­ing me to chal­lenge them.¬† But I can­not.
Because I am once again afraid, afriad of los­ing myself, and my hope.¬†
A hope that is still new in my chest, still try­ing to find it's fit.¬†
A hope given to me when my world was once lost and disguarded.

The icy grip of sur­ren­der grips me as I real­ize that I am
again alone in the night, fac­ing down the same demons I have
faced a thou­sand time.¬† Star­ing out into the noth­ing that is
my future and my past I can see myself doing bat­tle over and
over again.¬† Never giv­ing up.¬† Things are dif­fer­ent now.¬† I am
weak, tired.¬† Tired of figth­ing because I have for­got­ten what
I am fight­ing for.

I call to you, and you are not there.  Were you a dream? I pray
that you were not, for I do not think I would be able to fight
another fight against the crea­tures that plague my sould were
that so.  If you were not real then the love and faith that lives
within me would not be real either.¬† That is my sal­va­tion, my one
sav­ing light in this world of unend­ing dark­ness and pain.

Peace set­tles over me like a blan­ket, envelop­ing my heart with its
warm touch as I recall you stand­ing before me.. face to face, our
hearts over­flow­ing with love.¬† Then I remem­ber where you are, and
I look out beyond the grow­ing herd of beasts to the glim­mer­ing
cas­tle beyond.¬† It is then that I real­ize that I will have to bat­tle
my way thru to get back to you.

As I take a deep breath, I think of you, and of your smil­ing face.
I think if all the times I heard you say "I love you", and of all
the times I knew, and you didn't have to say a word.  I gather my
strength from the fact that if only in my dreams, I was loved
with­out end.. with­out question.

My sword is my belief in you, the only weapon I have. As I peer
out into the black that sur­rounds me I know deep inside that you
are with me.¬† I charge for­ward, not know­ing wether I shall sur­vive
this bat­tle or not.¬† But know­ing that no mat­ter what the out­come,
I am loved.

© 2009, anthony. All rights reserved.